Melissa said to me Friday night. Yet it was a bit different than the traditional casual "I miss you." There was a very real, intimate cry-of-her-soul sort've tinge to her voice.
I had been gone for the majority of the past two days on a men's retreat, so the words weren't exactly shocking, and, to be honest, neither was the sentiment behind the words.
My wife was brave and humble. She was vulnerable and honest. Her words carried not a hint of manipulation or frustration. She was expressing her desires openly for the sake of our relationship.
I've been prone to not respond so well to things like this in the past. "You miss me? I'm right here! How can this be?" Or I'll think in my head, "Man, I can't do anything right!" And then proceed to beat myself up. Or worse, in an effort to take the target off my back, I'll place it back on hers: "Well I miss you too ya know!"
Yet her gentleness opened my heart immediately.
"I'm so sorry. I'm just really sorry."
I've been around a lot, but I haven't exactly been engaged. I've been doing things with the family, but emotionally I've been pretty distant. This is actually pretty easy for me to do -- actively do things while not inwardly engaging with their hearts.
They deserve better, and I'm glad to have a bride committed to me, and committed to me being better relationally. I'm glad of her love and pursuit of me, even when I may run away or disengage.
Her courage and vulnerability makes me want to do the same in all my other relationships as well.
For the sake of relationships, my desire to is present myself vulnerably and honestly -- to express my desires and deep longings without manipulation or frustration or in order to control, but only to foster healthy relationship.
Often I can get caught up in doing the right things, while neglecting the inner and deeper things.
Can you relate?
|She even looks great in short hair!|