Return of the Prodigal Son

I've been spending some time reading through "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen.  It's been quite a joy.  I've liked Nouwen for some time now; he just seems to speak to aspects of my heart directly--as though my issues were his and vice versa, and he has a special ability to  bring all this stuff before Calvary.

One thing in particular he wrote hit me this morning.  He was recalling a conversation he had with a friend.  Nouwen had been going through a period in which he was trying to decide whether he was the younger or older son.  Was he more rebellious and wayward?  Was he more proud and demanding?  His answer, to no surprise, was yes.  Both.

This friend, though, said, "Whether you are the younger son or the elder son, you have to realize that you are called to become the father."

This sent him into a tizzy and has hit me fairly heavily this morning.  See, I am not compassionate by default.  Even cordial consideration for others is not something that is easy for me.  However it happened growing up, I just developed a position regarding the world and others that was all focused on myself.  It's all about me, I am the master of my domain and the ruler of my universe.  I am the person that needs pleasing.  I am the one that matters.

So, when I became a Christian, one of the toughest things to outgrow has been my tendency to just completely overlook others.  Wierd?  I'm not sure I'm so rare.  But I do know that I just find in my heart the tendency to still be Bart-centered.  Rarely do I think about how to best love and serve others.

The key there may be simply that I don't think about it.  Huge portions of my life, currently, are dedicated to others--whether it be loving on two young kids that have little to offer in return, or pouring my life out with and for students that need to hear about the message of Christ--I know that God, through the Holy Spirit does love others through me regularly.  But oh how I wish my love for others was more perfected and consistent!

God, I desire to be like you in all things.  I desire to be the Father in the story of the prodigal son.  It is for this we were made; to shepherd, love, protect, and embrace the hurting people in the world around us.  Mold me into this.  Make me the kind of person that forsakes all for the sake of you.  Let others experience your deep love and care for them through me.

Let the River flow

“Notice what happens to the flow of God’s love if we think of it as limited to such sacred events. It is streaming into us, but for the most part it is not flowing through us on to others. We may pray in the eucharistic prayer, ‘Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this table for solace only and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.’ But if we don’t turn from facing God, so to speak, to face our neighbors, the flow of God’s gifts will be arrested with us, and we will miss the purpose of the strength and renewal that come through the Eucharist. It is as we serve our neighbors - our family, friends, acquaintances - that the dam holding the flow of gifts is lifted and the life of God continues its intended flow.” - Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge

I've been really liking this book lately, if for no other reason than it seems like it is just returning me to simple Gospel truths. If I am only grabbing God's grace for myself, I am missing out. If my worship is solely for my own purpose and enjoyment, then it is not serving its intended purpose.

My experience of joy and love of Christ needs to have an outflow. What could do I do the world that God desperately wants to redeem if I horde all of God's love for myself? God, let my family be an outpouring. Let us overflow with your grace and goodness into any that come into contact with us. Let us have love to give, stemming from an overabundant love and enjoyment of you!

This makes me think of new and fresh ways I could begin to give, areas I could begin to overflow into. More on that soon...

Reconnecting

“Spirituality is not a formula; it is not a test. It is a relationship. Spirituality is not about competence; it is about intimacy. Spirituality is not about perfection; it is about connection. The way of the spiritual life begins where we are now in the mess of our lives. Accepting the reality of our broken, flawed lives is the beginning of spirituality not because the spiritual life will remove our flaws but because we let go of seeking perfection and, instead, seek God, the one who is present in the tangledness of our lives. Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God’s being present in the mess of our unfixedness.” - Mike Yaconelli, Messy Spirituality

I thought reconnecting was a fitting title for two reasons. First, this is our first blog post in a couple months (gulp). Secondly, because it seems to be the theme of our lives and ministry over the last couple months.

The students we are leading seem to really be in good places. Deep places, but good. They really seem to be working through some deeper issues in their lives and hearts. Something cool about winter quarter brings this out. If you're on our email list, or receive our prayer letter, than perhaps you've read a few stories so we'll spare them here. But we're just pretty excited to watch God doing what he loves to do - change people from the inside out.

And really we feel like we've been reconnecting with each other and with God in special ways recently as well. Sometimes what we do can feel heavy - we have such a large task to accomplish - and burdensome. It can be defeating. But recently we've really been experiencing peace and grace in the love of Christ.