Over the last couple days, I've had this recurring thought:
Do I have anything to say? And if so, what exactly is it?
See, I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the amount of information out there literally at our fingertips. There are people smarter than me talking about how to better read the Bible. There are people wiser than me addressing deep-heart issues with clarity and foresight. Out there in cyberspace are better writers, better communicators, and better thinkers.
And it gets worse, when I think about it.
There are better husbands.
There are better fathers.
There are better Christians (please let's not get caught-up in the theology).
This has been hammered into my life ever since I was a child, no matter the activity. "There will always be someone smarter than you," my parents would say if they sense I was getting a big head about excelling scholastically. "There are better (fill in the blank -- though for me it was running backs, forwards, sprinters, math students, public speakers etc)."
Looking back I really appreciate these sentiments. They were honest, at least. Much more than the stuff we throw around all the time today. In contrast, my parents sentiment at least rings true. "You can do anything you set your heart to! All your dreams can come true! Pursue your own happy ending!" Really? How's a happy ending with tragedy? How's a dream come true amidst a broken and painful world? Go ahead and keep believing in yourself, but death awaits, your body will decay, and your money cannot go beyond the grave.
So, then, if it's true (or at least half-true) that I may not be providing anyone with any unchartered or unparalelled information or wit, what is the point of even trying?
Here's how I think about it (and I'm curious if you have other thoughts -- as it should be clear, I'm very open to the reality that I'm not the wisest/smartest/or most mature person around and would love for those people to chip in and help me here!).
What if the way in which our world changes (for the better or for the worse) isn't due to the leaders and smartest or wisest or loveliest or father-liest or husband-liest or Christian-liest? What if world change happens at a wider level?
Perhaps culture change and life-change is the result of a summation of waves, rather than a tsunami? Maybe instead of the smartest person in the world speaking into a dozen different subjects and all of us lesser beings being swayed by his intelligence, we lesser beings are influenced and swayed by thousands upon thousands of other voices/people?
If it is true, that rather than being the leading thinker or top wizard, it is probably more of a privilege to be among the throng. It is not just ok, but preferable to be normal. Like a wolf in a pack has more power and authority, in a sense, than the biggest, meanest wolf, so a voice in the midst of thousands maybe can help accomplish far more than the loudest.
Or perhaps I'm just trying to give myself a reason to say anything at all? Who knows?