We've been back in the States for a month now. Time has gone really fast, it seems. We've stayed in 5 different places since we've been back. We're not really settled anywhere. Yet, we're functioning relatively well. We're doing school. We're getting admin stuff done. We're scheduling some appointments.
But the healing process is slow. We were able to attend a debrief for overseas staff this past week in Indy. It was really refreshing for our hearts to be around others who have had similar experiences. It was life giving to be heard and known and understood. We were not alone. It wasn't a fix all, but it re-energized our hearts to be with other staff who listened and cared.
We've ordered some books to help with the process we're going through. We're slowly starting to return to somewhat normal sleep patterns. We're attempting to eat decent food (attempting being the key word). We've at least slowed down on the eating all of the food we craved while overseas!
We try to be hopeful each day. It seems as time passes, new pains arise. We realize that there are little things, or sometimes even bigger things, that we realize we missed out on or won't get to do or see or finish or help with. It seems the grieving process will go on for a while as we continue to recognize the things we weren't prepared for. We grieve the process of not knowing what the immediate future holds. We grieve dreams and ambitions. We weren't prepared for all of this.
This is our lives. We often think, how did we get here? How did this happen? We're grateful to be in the States, to not have the stresses we dealt with while in Venezuela. Yet we welcome new stressors while being here. The grass is never greener. So we continue to take these things to the Lord. It's painful. He's not always the one we want to go to or even feel the safest with. This is the time we have to choose to trust the most. This is when our faith is tested. It's not easy.