Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Tough family stuff

I got a phone call today from my older brother that was rather tough.

Heres the situation. My younger brother is getting married in a week and a half, and his bachelor party will be this coming weekend, July 3rd and 4th. I found out about the date of the party about a month ago and was a bit dissapointed because I knew Melissa and I were busy that weekend. Melissa's family is having a get-together over the weekend and we had committed a few months ago that we would be coming. You see the dilemma: honor my word to Melissa and her family? or head to Canton to be with my brother to celebrate his bachelor party.

I chose the former, and I would do it a thousand times over. Melissa is first in my life (well actually a distant second to Christ). She is my world and my loyalty belongs first and foremost to my promises to her. Ephesians 5:31 says:

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

I have left my former family and have begun a new one with my bride. Yes, family still plays an important part in our lives, but it is secondary to my unity with Melissa. She comes first. This is a tough marriage lesson, but one that I hope I'm grasping better.

Anyways, my older brother was disappointed (and said my younger brother was also) that I couldn't come to the party. To his credit, he was looking out for my younger brother and make his wedding stuff special, which is a good and commendable thing. I tried to explain that we have prior commitments, and that my allegiance is to the things I've promised my wife. It saddens me that I'd dissappoint others by this, but I guess that's the way it goes.

Anyone else have similar issues? Is leaving and cleaving a difficult thing for you? Care to share?

1 comment:

bill kuch said...

yeah man, leave and cleave. I think the hardest part of this can be when the family members don't share your convictions, because from a worldly point of view it seems selfish to not go to the family functions as frequently, or have them as high on the priority list.
Something the Lord has been putting on my heart in addition to that is that even the church body is to be high on the list:
1. Christ
2. Wife
3. Kids
4. Church
5. Family
This is something that has it's moments of flexibility, but I cannot tell you how many times I've spoken with Chrisian co-workers who have missed church months at a time because they need "family time" with grandparents, etc.