I've been having a good day.  I'd like to see if I can process a few of the more potent thoughts running through my head:

1. Grace is really good.  Every so often I am just drawn by the Spirit back into grace.  It may seem weird since I'm in full-time ministry, but the gospel of grace is just one that I forget so often.  Maybe it's because I'm a dad of a 3 and 2 year old and am perpetually in the "you need to do this" and "don't do that" sort of world, but it's super easy for me to fall into a check-list for God.  Since I'm a Christian, I think, I need to do X, Y, and Z today and then I'll feel good.
I've just been reminded today that I am a sinner saved by grace.  Nothing good in or of itself has come from me, but only what God has graciously bestowed or given.  I have been ransomed by the blood of the cross, and that cross grants me forgiveness and removes me sins as far as the east is from the west.  This is great news, and has been replenishing my heart today.

2. The Gospel needs preached.  I read an article in Christianity Today called "You can't preach the gospel with deeds and why it's important to say so" and it really just reaffirmed why I love being on staff with Cru.  Lots of people cite St. Francis of Assisi as saying, "Preach the gospel at all times.  Use words if necessary" and then use that to back up a claim that our major witness for the gospel needs to be our deeds, and not our words.  Well, (nevermind that the people who would know about St. Francis, the Franciscans, have no recollection of him ever saying that) says the author Duane Litfin, it just can't happen.  Nor is it even very biblical.  We needs words and deeds, but the gospel can never be preached simply by deeds.  He says, and I like this, "The gospel is inherently verbal, and preaching the gospel is inherently verbal behavior.  If the gospel is to be communicated at all, it must be put into words."
Again, it makes me love that I'm on staff with an organization that has tried to be on the front lines of gospel proclamation.

3. Financial partner development (or support raising) is a tough task, but honestly a pretty enjoyable one for me.  I've already had a few conversations this morning which were really encouraging.  People are behind our ministry and praying hard and giving quite a bit.  We are so grateful for our partners.  And to God's grace.

Home Alone

I'm home alone for the weekend. And that is honestly what I feel like.  What in the world am I supposed to do with myself?  I'm not even sure I know how to eat all by myself, it's been so long since I've done it.

Melissa took the kids to her mom and dad's for the weekend, mostly so I could have time to get a bunch of things done.  I appreciate it so much, as today has been super productive and fruitful.  I've read a ton, made a bunch of phone calls, and did quite a few other odds and ends that have been piling up, both with financial ministry partner development and just in general around the house.  Thanks babe, I love you a ton.

My Spanish is coming along slowly.  I'm liking the Rosetta Stone method though, it's pretty fun.  It's actually how we learned Azeri while in Azerbaijan (not with the Rosetta Stone, just the method) so it feels pretty natural.  I'm hoping that if I can just develop a pretty good base, once we step foot in country it will come pretty smoothly.  I'm sure I'll have hiccups but it's fun to get started.

I really hope the Celtics win tomorrow.  Call me a bitter Cleveland fan if you must but I do not want the Heat to win anything.  And I'm also pretty excited about Euro 2012.

I have a big day tomorrow with lots and lots of phone calls.  Would you mind praying for me?

Return of the Prodigal Son

I've been spending some time reading through "The Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen.  It's been quite a joy.  I've liked Nouwen for some time now; he just seems to speak to aspects of my heart directly--as though my issues were his and vice versa, and he has a special ability to  bring all this stuff before Calvary.

One thing in particular he wrote hit me this morning.  He was recalling a conversation he had with a friend.  Nouwen had been going through a period in which he was trying to decide whether he was the younger or older son.  Was he more rebellious and wayward?  Was he more proud and demanding?  His answer, to no surprise, was yes.  Both.

This friend, though, said, "Whether you are the younger son or the elder son, you have to realize that you are called to become the father."

This sent him into a tizzy and has hit me fairly heavily this morning.  See, I am not compassionate by default.  Even cordial consideration for others is not something that is easy for me.  However it happened growing up, I just developed a position regarding the world and others that was all focused on myself.  It's all about me, I am the master of my domain and the ruler of my universe.  I am the person that needs pleasing.  I am the one that matters.

So, when I became a Christian, one of the toughest things to outgrow has been my tendency to just completely overlook others.  Wierd?  I'm not sure I'm so rare.  But I do know that I just find in my heart the tendency to still be Bart-centered.  Rarely do I think about how to best love and serve others.

The key there may be simply that I don't think about it.  Huge portions of my life, currently, are dedicated to others--whether it be loving on two young kids that have little to offer in return, or pouring my life out with and for students that need to hear about the message of Christ--I know that God, through the Holy Spirit does love others through me regularly.  But oh how I wish my love for others was more perfected and consistent!

God, I desire to be like you in all things.  I desire to be the Father in the story of the prodigal son.  It is for this we were made; to shepherd, love, protect, and embrace the hurting people in the world around us.  Mold me into this.  Make me the kind of person that forsakes all for the sake of you.  Let others experience your deep love and care for them through me.